the endeavor

April 20, 2011

half asleep & all ihear is him screaming, as always. hes the 1 who flushed the toilet but wants to get mad @ me? almost punching me in my face — telling me im a stupid bitch & how he picked a dumb one. YEAH! yeah im washing dishes while you handle the toilet bowl! AND? cant do shit by yourself? “im done w.you bitch” thats what he said haha im thinking in my head, *when did we get back together? we been broken up for 2, going on 3 months! “I NEED HELP” he cries, but he knows im gonna help him when im done… but, he still isnt satisfied… calls me all kinds of bitches *AGAIN & then stops doing what hes doing & leaves the big mess, the big puddle - toilet still over flowing (slowly) i get done w.the dishes, he says hes moving out & im fine w.that… should i sit back & cry? NOOOO! i tell/told him, if you wanna let the anger get the best of you, then let it. then i walked away & cleaned my whole bathroom, by myself while he was on his phone — cleaning MY bathroom because its MY house, MY space. i wasnt raised in no dirty house, im not saying he was either, im just saying; the way you live reflects on everyone you live w.& how you living! point of the matter is, tonight, this simple accident that occured made me realize _____ we havent been together, i make my own money… i dont need him or any other guy to clean up after or cook for me cos i know how to do all that by my damn self & even though it would be nice to have some help w.my daughter from her father — bottom line is, i dont need the help! im a great mother, my own person & i do wtf i want to do… no guy is going to tell me else wise. im single & im doing it w.out a “him” w.that being said, im done crying, done looking stupid to the audience.